TOILET WATER
One day my mother was out and my dad was looking after me.
I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from a bad cold. Someone had given me a little tea set as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.
Dad was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of “tea,” which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such good tea, my mom came home.
Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea. (“It’s just the cutest thing!”) My mom waited and sure enough, I came down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watched him drink it, then said (as only a mother would)…”Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is from the toilet?”
WRONG INTERPRETATION
An influential Londoner wound up a business trip to the Orient with a visit to Taipei. At a luncheon, he was asked to say a few words. Since he spoke not a word of Chinese, his address was to be translated by an interpreter, sentence by sentence.
“I want you to know,” he began, “I’m tickled to death to be asked here today.”
A look of panicked confusion appeared on the interpreter’s face. “This poor man,” he said in Chinese, “Scratches himself until he dies, only to be with you today.”
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