Who God Is » funny story

A “WC” Funny Story

WhoGodIs — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:49:19 +0000

In the days when you couldn’t count on a public facility to have indoor
plumbing, a British woman was planning a trip to Germany. She was registered
to stay in a small guesthouse owned by the local schoolmaster. She was
concerned as to whether the guesthouse contained a WC. (In England, a
bathroom is commonly called a WC, which stands for water closet.) She wrote
the schoolmaster inquiring as to the location of the nearest WC.

The schoolmaster, not fluent in English, asked the local priest if he knew
the meaning of WC. Together they pondered possible meanings of the letters
and concluded that the lady wanted to know if there was a Wayside Chapel
near the house…a bathroom never entered their minds. So the schoolmaster
wrote the following reply:

Dear Madam,

I take great pleasure in informing you that the WC is located 9 miles from
the house. It is located in the middle of a grove of pine trees, surrounded
by lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 229 people and is open on
Sundays and Thursdays. As there are many people expected in the summer
months, I suggest you arrive early. There is, however, plenty of standing
room. This is an unfortunate situation, especially if you are in the habit
of going regularly.

It may be of some interest to you that my daughter was married in the WC as
it was there that she met her husband. It was a wonderful event. There were
10 people in every seat. It was wonderful to see the expressions on their
faces. My wife, sadly, has been ill and unable to go recently. It has been
almost a year since she went last, which pains her greatly.

You will be pleased to know that many people bring their lunch and make a
day of it. Others prefer to wait till the last minute and arrive just in
time! I would recommend your ladyship plan to go on a Thursday as there is
organ accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate
sounds can be heard everywhere. The newest addition is a bell, which rings
every time a person enters. We are holding a bazaar to provide plush seats
for all since many feel it is long needed.

I look forward to escorting you there myself and seating you in a place
where you can be seen by all.

Sincerely,
Schoolmaster

Check out my other sites:

Handbook for Victorious Christian Living – practical ways to learn to live a victorious Christian life

Blueprint for Victorious Christian Living

Power of the Living Word

For a Good Laugh!

WhoGodIs — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 02:49:57 +0000

WHY DADDY DIDN’T COME TO WORK!!

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee’s home phone # and was greeted with a child’s whisper

“Hello”

Is your daddy home? he asked.

“Yes.” whispered the small voice.

May I talk with him?

The child whispered, “no.”

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, “Is your mommy there?”
“Yes.”

May I talk with her?

Again the small voice whispered, “No.”

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the asked, “Is anybody else there?”

“Yes” whispered the child, “A policeman !!”

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked, “May I speak with the policeman?”

“No, he’s busy.” whispered the child.

“Busy doing what?”

“Talking to daddy and mommy and the fireman,” came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, “What is that noise?”

“A helicopter.” answered the whispering voice.

“What is going on there?” demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, “The search team just landed.”

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, “What are they searching for?”

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle……..

“ME !”

***************************************************************

Check out my other sites:

Handbook for Victorious Christian Living – Practical ways to learn to live a victorious Christian life

Blueprint for Victorious Christian Living

Power of the Living Word

This Gave Me A Good Laugh!

This Gave Me A Good Laugh!

WhoGodIs — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 11:03:56 +0000

This is another Mikey’s Funnies. It gave me one of those really good laughs that you don’t get often enough, so I thought it might be just the thing to brighten your day.

AN “AD” FUNNY

The following is an ad from a newspaper that appeared four days in a row – the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day’s mistake.

MONDAY:

For sale: R.D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Phone 948-0707 after 7 P.M.. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him cheap.

TUESDAY:

Notice: We regret having erred In R.D. Jones’ ad yesterday. It should have read “One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 948-0707 and ask for Mrs. Kelly, who lives with him after 7 P.M.”

WEDNESDAY:

Notice: R.D. Jones has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows: “For sale — R.D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 948-0707 after 7 P.M. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who loves with him.”

THURSDAY:

Notice: I, R.D. Jones, have no sewing machine for sale. I intentionally broke it. Don’t call 948-0707 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Kelly. Until yesterday she was my housekeeper, but she has now quit.

Check out my other sites:

Handbook for Victorious Christian Living - Practical ways to learn to live a victorious Christian life

Blueprint for Victorious Christian Living

Power of the Living Word

Read these Facts about the Magnificent Body God Gave You!

Funny Story – The Miracle of Birth Through the Eyes of a Child

WhoGodIs — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 17:40:34 +0000

THE “MIDDLE WIFE”

By an anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I’ve been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they’re welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant: “This is Luke, my baby brother, and I’m going to tell you about his birthday.”

“First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom’s stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.”

She’s standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I’m trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

“Then, about two Saturdays ago, my mom starts saying and going, ‘Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!’” Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. “She walked around the house for, like an hour, ‘Oh, oh, oh!’” (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

“My dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn’t have a sign on the car like the Domino’s man. They got my mom to lie down in bed like this.” (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

“And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!” (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

“Then the middle wife starts saying ‘Push, push” and “Breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom’s play-center (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.”

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I’m sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it’s show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another “Middle Wife” comes along.

(another Mikey’s Funnies)

Check out my other sites:

Handbook for Victorious Christian Living – Practical ways to learn to live a victorious Christian life

Blueprint for Victorious Christian Living

Power of the Living Word

God has a Sense of Humor!

WhoGodIs — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 03:37:42 +0000

THE PASTOR’S CAT…

Mr. Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor of his
church. He had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and
then was afraid to come down.

The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc. The kitty would not come
down. The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor decided
that if he tied a rope to his car and pulled it until the tree bent
down, he could then reach up and get the kitten.

That’s what he did, all the while checking his progress in the car. He
then figured if he went just a little bit further, the tree would be
bent sufficiently for him to reach the kitten. But as he moved the
car a little further forward, the rope broke.

The tree went ‘boing!’ and the kitten instantly sailed through the
air – out of sight. The pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the
neighborhood asking people if they’d seen a little kitten. No. Nobody
had seen a stray kitten.

So he prayed, ‘Lord, I just commit this kitten to your keeping,’ and
went on about his business.

A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one of his
church members. He happened to look into her shopping cart and was
amazed to see cat food. This woman was a cat hater and everyone knew
it, so he asked her, ‘Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats
so much?’

She replied, ‘You won’t believe this,’ and then told him how her
little girl had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing.

Then a few days before, the child had begged again, so the Mom
finally told her little girl, ‘Well, if God gives you a cat, I’ll let
you keep it.’ She told the pastor, ‘I watched my child go out in the
yard, get on her knees, and ask God for a cat.

And really, Pastor, you won’t believe this, but I saw it with my own
eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with its
paws outspread, and landed right in front of her.’

Lesson learned: Never underestimate the Power of GOD and HIS unique
sense of humor.

Check out my other sites:

Handbook for Victorious Christian Living – Practical ways to learn to live a victorious Christian life

Blueprint for Victorious Christian Living

Power of the Living Word

A Story – God Might Not Always Send What You Expect

WhoGodIs — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 04:47:46 +0000

A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was
very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get
some medication for her daughter.

Upon returning to her car she found that she had locked her keys in the car.
She was in a hurry to get home to her sick daughter. She didn’t know what
to do, so she called her home and told the baby sitter what had happened and
that she did not know what to do.

The baby sitter told her that her daughter was getting worse. She said,
“You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door.” The woman
looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been thrown down
on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time or other had locked
their keys in their car. Then she looked at the hanger and said, “I don’t
know how to use this.” So she bowed her head and asked God to send her some
help.

Within five minutes an old rusty car pulled up, with a dirty, greasy,
bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head. The woman
thought, “This is what you sent to help me?” But, she was desperate, so she
was also very thankful.

The man got out of his car and asked her if he could help. She said, “Yes,
my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked
my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger
to unlock my car?”

He said, “Sure”. He walked over to the car, and in less than one minute the
car was opened.

She hugged the man and through her tears she said, “Thank You So Much! You
are a very nice man.”

The man replied, “Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison
yesterday. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out less than 24
hours.”

The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud, “Oh,
Thank you God! You even sent me a Professional! ”

God may not always send us what we expect, but He will always send us what
we need. It’s up to us to have the wisdom to recognize the difference and
be thankful.

– Author Unknown

Check out my other sites:

Handbook for Victorious Christian Living - Practical ways to learn to live a victorious life in Christ

Blueprint for Victorious Christian Living

Power of the Living Word

2 Funny Stories – Laughter truly makes you feel better!

WhoGodIs — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 23:03:33 +0000

TOILET WATER

One day my mother was out and my dad was looking after me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from a bad cold. Someone had given me a little tea set as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Dad was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of “tea,” which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such good tea, my mom came home.

Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea. (“It’s just the cutest thing!”) My mom waited and sure enough, I came down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watched him drink it, then said (as only a mother would)…”Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is from the toilet?”

WRONG INTERPRETATION

An influential Londoner wound up a business trip to the Orient with a visit to Taipei. At a luncheon, he was asked to say a few words. Since he spoke not a word of Chinese, his address was to be translated by an interpreter, sentence by sentence.

“I want you to know,” he began, “I’m tickled to death to be asked here today.”

A look of panicked confusion appeared on the interpreter’s face. “This poor man,” he said in Chinese, “Scratches himself until he dies, only to be with you today.”

Check out my other sites:

Handbook for Victorious Christian Living – Practical ways to learn to live a victorious Christian life

Blueprint for Victorious Christian Living

Power of the Living Word

Two Funny Stories

WhoGodIs — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 19:30:05 +0000

I thought you might need some laughter in your life today!

What is “Butt Dust”?

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget is on a particular Sunday, the minister began to pray before starting his sermon…

‘Dear Lord,’ he began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face,

‘Without you, we are but dust…’

He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, ‘Mom, what is butt dust?’

Thou Shalt Not Kill Brothers and Sisters

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her class of five and six-year-olds.

After explaining the commandment to honor thy father and thy mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”

Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

Check out my other sites:

Handbook for Victorious Christian Living – Practical ways to learn to live a victorious Christian life

Blueprint for Victorious Christian Living

Power of the Living Word

A Funny Hitchhiking Story

A Cute Story – You Never Know what Kids are Thinking!

WhoGodIs — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 05:12:24 +0000

When I look back on things as a child, there were many words and meanings that I got really confused. Sometimes I didn’t know the correct word until I was much older. When you are small, you have a limited vocabulary so you just try to make something fit with a word you already know.

The end result of that can be hilarious when you get older and finally understand what the passage was really supposed to mean. Have a good laugh today as you enjoy this story.

Shirley and Marcy

A mom was concerned about her kindergarten son walking to school.

He didn’t want his mother to walk with him.

She wanted to give him the feeling that he had some independence but

yet know that he was safe. So she had an idea of how to handle it.

She asked a neighbor if she would please follow him to school in the

mornings, staying at a distance, so he probably wouldn’t notice her.

She said that since she was up early with her toddler anyway, it would

be a good way for them to get some exercise as well, so she agreed. The

next school day, the neighbor and her little girl set out following

behind Timmy as he walked to school with another neighbor girl he knew.

She did this for the whole week. As the two walked and chatted,

kicking stones and twigs, Timmy’s little friend noticed the same lady

was following them as she seemed to do every day all week.

Finally she said to Timmy, ‘Have you noticed that lady following us to

school all week? Do you know her?’

Timmy nonchalantly replied, ‘Yeah, I know who she is.’

The little girl said, ‘Well, who is she?’

‘That’s just Shirley Goodnest,’ Timmy replied, ‘and her
daughter Marcy.’

‘Shirley Goodnest? Who is she and why is she following us?’

‘Well,’ Timmy explained, ‘every night my Mom makes me say the 23rd

Psalm with my prayers, ‘cuz she worries about me so much. And in the

Psalm, it says, ‘Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all the days

of my life’, so I guess I’ll just have to get used to it!’

Check out my other sites:

Blueprint for Victorious Christian Living

Handbook for Victorious Christian Living

Practical ways to live a victorious Christian life

Power of the Living Word

A Funny Hitchhiking Story

WhoGodIs — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 22:36:05 +0000

This one from Mikey’s Funnies gave me a good laugh, so hopefully this will brighten your day also. Life gets hard sometimes and we forget that laughter is a good stress reliever.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

A guy was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the middle of a storm. The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.

Suddenly he saw a car coming toward him and stop.

Without thinking about it, the guy got into the back seat, closed the door and then realized there was nobody behind the wheel! The car starts slowly; the guy looks at the road and sees a curve coming his way. Scared, he starts to pray begging for his life.

He hasn’t come out of shock, when just before he hits the curve, a hand appears through the window and moves the wheel. The guy, paralyzed in terror, watched how the hand appears every time right before a curve.

Gathering his strength, the guy jumps out of the car and runs to the nearest town. Wet and in shock, he goes to a restaurant and starts telling everybody about the horrible experience he went through.

A silence enveloped everybody when they realize the guy was serious.

About half an hour later, two guys walked in the same restaurant. They looked around for a table when one said to the other, “Look John, that’s the dummy who got in the car when we were pushing it.”

Please check out my other sites:

Blueprint for Victorious Christian Living

Handbook for Victorious Christian Living

Power of the Living Word