Who God Is » humor

A “WC” Funny Story

WhoGodIs — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:49:19 +0000

In the days when you couldn’t count on a public facility to have indoor
plumbing, a British woman was planning a trip to Germany. She was registered
to stay in a small guesthouse owned by the local schoolmaster. She was
concerned as to whether the guesthouse contained a WC. (In England, a
bathroom is commonly called a WC, which stands for water closet.) She wrote
the schoolmaster inquiring as to the location of the nearest WC.

The schoolmaster, not fluent in English, asked the local priest if he knew
the meaning of WC. Together they pondered possible meanings of the letters
and concluded that the lady wanted to know if there was a Wayside Chapel
near the house…a bathroom never entered their minds. So the schoolmaster
wrote the following reply:

Dear Madam,

I take great pleasure in informing you that the WC is located 9 miles from
the house. It is located in the middle of a grove of pine trees, surrounded
by lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 229 people and is open on
Sundays and Thursdays. As there are many people expected in the summer
months, I suggest you arrive early. There is, however, plenty of standing
room. This is an unfortunate situation, especially if you are in the habit
of going regularly.

It may be of some interest to you that my daughter was married in the WC as
it was there that she met her husband. It was a wonderful event. There were
10 people in every seat. It was wonderful to see the expressions on their
faces. My wife, sadly, has been ill and unable to go recently. It has been
almost a year since she went last, which pains her greatly.

You will be pleased to know that many people bring their lunch and make a
day of it. Others prefer to wait till the last minute and arrive just in
time! I would recommend your ladyship plan to go on a Thursday as there is
organ accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate
sounds can be heard everywhere. The newest addition is a bell, which rings
every time a person enters. We are holding a bazaar to provide plush seats
for all since many feel it is long needed.

I look forward to escorting you there myself and seating you in a place
where you can be seen by all.

Sincerely,
Schoolmaster

Check out my other sites:

Handbook for Victorious Christian Living – practical ways to learn to live a victorious Christian life

Blueprint for Victorious Christian Living

Power of the Living Word

God has a Sense of Humor!

WhoGodIs — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 03:37:42 +0000

THE PASTOR’S CAT…

Mr. Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor of his
church. He had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and
then was afraid to come down.

The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc. The kitty would not come
down. The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor decided
that if he tied a rope to his car and pulled it until the tree bent
down, he could then reach up and get the kitten.

That’s what he did, all the while checking his progress in the car. He
then figured if he went just a little bit further, the tree would be
bent sufficiently for him to reach the kitten. But as he moved the
car a little further forward, the rope broke.

The tree went ‘boing!’ and the kitten instantly sailed through the
air – out of sight. The pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the
neighborhood asking people if they’d seen a little kitten. No. Nobody
had seen a stray kitten.

So he prayed, ‘Lord, I just commit this kitten to your keeping,’ and
went on about his business.

A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one of his
church members. He happened to look into her shopping cart and was
amazed to see cat food. This woman was a cat hater and everyone knew
it, so he asked her, ‘Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats
so much?’

She replied, ‘You won’t believe this,’ and then told him how her
little girl had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing.

Then a few days before, the child had begged again, so the Mom
finally told her little girl, ‘Well, if God gives you a cat, I’ll let
you keep it.’ She told the pastor, ‘I watched my child go out in the
yard, get on her knees, and ask God for a cat.

And really, Pastor, you won’t believe this, but I saw it with my own
eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with its
paws outspread, and landed right in front of her.’

Lesson learned: Never underestimate the Power of GOD and HIS unique
sense of humor.

Check out my other sites:

Handbook for Victorious Christian Living – Practical ways to learn to live a victorious Christian life

Blueprint for Victorious Christian Living

Power of the Living Word

More Humor – Pecans in the Cemetery

WhoGodIs — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 17:58:24 +0000

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree
just inside the cemetery fence.

One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the
tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

“One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,” said one boy.
Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he
passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery.
He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he heard, “One for
you, one for me. One for you, one for me.”

He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off.
Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.

“Come here quick,” said the boy, “you won’t believe what I heard!
Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls.”

The man said, “Beat it kid, can’t you see it’s hard for me to walk.”

When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard, “One for you, one for me. One
for you, one for me.”

The old man whispered, “Boy, you’ve been tellin’ me the truth.
Let’s see if we can see the Lord.”

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still
unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought
iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a
glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, “One for you, one for me. That’s all. Now let’s go
get those nuts by the fence and we’ll be done.

They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead
of the kid on the bike.

Check out my other sites:

Handbook for Victorious Christian Living – Practical ways to learn to live a victorious Christian life

Blueprint for Victorious Christian Living

Power of the Living Word

A Cute Story – You Never Know what Kids are Thinking!

WhoGodIs — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 05:12:24 +0000

When I look back on things as a child, there were many words and meanings that I got really confused. Sometimes I didn’t know the correct word until I was much older. When you are small, you have a limited vocabulary so you just try to make something fit with a word you already know.

The end result of that can be hilarious when you get older and finally understand what the passage was really supposed to mean. Have a good laugh today as you enjoy this story.

Shirley and Marcy

A mom was concerned about her kindergarten son walking to school.

He didn’t want his mother to walk with him.

She wanted to give him the feeling that he had some independence but

yet know that he was safe. So she had an idea of how to handle it.

She asked a neighbor if she would please follow him to school in the

mornings, staying at a distance, so he probably wouldn’t notice her.

She said that since she was up early with her toddler anyway, it would

be a good way for them to get some exercise as well, so she agreed. The

next school day, the neighbor and her little girl set out following

behind Timmy as he walked to school with another neighbor girl he knew.

She did this for the whole week. As the two walked and chatted,

kicking stones and twigs, Timmy’s little friend noticed the same lady

was following them as she seemed to do every day all week.

Finally she said to Timmy, ‘Have you noticed that lady following us to

school all week? Do you know her?’

Timmy nonchalantly replied, ‘Yeah, I know who she is.’

The little girl said, ‘Well, who is she?’

‘That’s just Shirley Goodnest,’ Timmy replied, ‘and her
daughter Marcy.’

‘Shirley Goodnest? Who is she and why is she following us?’

‘Well,’ Timmy explained, ‘every night my Mom makes me say the 23rd

Psalm with my prayers, ‘cuz she worries about me so much. And in the

Psalm, it says, ‘Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all the days

of my life’, so I guess I’ll just have to get used to it!’

Check out my other sites:

Blueprint for Victorious Christian Living

Handbook for Victorious Christian Living

Practical ways to live a victorious Christian life

Power of the Living Word

A Child Book Report of the Entire Bible!

WhoGodIs — Wed, 21 May 2008 20:44:32 +0000

A child was told to write a book report on the entire Bible.

The result is amazing.

I wonder how often we take for granted that children understand what we are teaching???
Through the eyes of a child.

Children’s Bible in a Nutshell

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing
but God, darkness, and some gas.

The Bible says, ‘The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that.

Anyway, God said, ‘Give me a light!’ and someone did. Then God made the world.

He split the Adam and made Eve.

Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren’t embarrassed because mirrors hadn’t been invented yet.

Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden.

Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn’t have cars.

Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.

Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.

One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham.

Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it.

He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau,

because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast.

Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.

Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston.

Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egyptand away from the evil Pharaoh

after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh’s people.

These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.

God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti.
Then He gave them His Top Ten Commandments.

These include don’t lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor’s stuff.

Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.

One of Moses’ best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies.

Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.
After Joshua came David He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot.

He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines.

My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn’t sound very wise to me.

After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets.

One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed upon the shore.

There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don’t have to worry about them.

After the Old Testament came the New Testament.

Jesus is the star of the New Testament.

He was born in Bethlehem in a barn.

(I wish I had been born in a barn, too, because my mom is always saying to me,
‘Close the door! Were you born in a barn?’ It would be nice to say, ‘As a matter of fact, I was.’)

During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans.

Jesus also had twelve opossums.

The worst one was Judas Asparagus.

Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.

Jesus was a great man.

He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount.

But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot.

Pilot didn’t stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.

Any way’s, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again.

He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum.

His return is foretold in the book of Revolution..

Please check out my other sites:

Handbook for Victorious Christian Living

Blueprint for Victorious Christian Living

Power of the Living Word

Books of the Bible Puzzle

Another Funny Story!

WhoGodIs — Fri, 16 May 2008 05:00:07 +0000

This is another story that really makes me laugh when I read it. I thought it was time for some more humor so sit back, read, and laugh a little. God is so incredible that He gave us a sense of humor to truly enjoy a funny story, and I think He loves it when we can do that.

A couple was going out for the evening. They got ready, all dolled up, set the lights, and put the cat out.

The taxi arrives, and as the couple opens the front door, the cat zips back in between their legs and disappears up the stairs. They don’t want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to find the cat and put it out.

The wife, worried about some recent break-ins in their neighborhood and not wanting it known that the house will be empty, explains to the taxi driver that her husband is just going upstairs to say goodbye to her mother.

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab apologetically, “Sorry I took so long” he says, “Stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger and grab her by the scruff of the neck to get her to come out! Then she slipped away and ran into the closet, but I quickly trapped her in the corner and got a good hold on her.”

Now didn’t that make you feel much better!

A funny "first kiss" story!

Why did God make Men and Women so different?

WhoGodIs — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 16:04:21 +0000

The photo below is the best word picture I have ever seen at explaining the differences in men and women. I think both will agree that this sums everything up.

I’m so glad that God gave us a sense of humor so that we could laugh and keep ourselves from getting too serious with life; it can be overwhelming at times. Even in today’s medical world, laughter has been shown to be very good for a person’s health.

So hopefully this will make you smile.

Please check out my other web sites:

Blueprint for Victorious Christian Living

Handbook for Victorious Christian Living

Power of the Living Word

What Impact Can Only One Drop of Water Make for God?

A funny "first kiss" story!

WhoGodIs — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 06:04:19 +0000

In the last few days I have run across several funny stories and some good, clean jokes. It is a nice feeling to have a good laugh where you have to wipe your eyes. This one is not as funny as the guy having to put up with the little soaps in the hotel room, but it still makes me laugh.

I know that many times in the heat of spiritual battle, I forget to take some time out to have a little fun. I have to remind myself to lighten up! God wants each of His children to be well balanced and enjoy life.

This is another Mikey’s Funnies story.

THAT FIRST KISS

At the end of their first date, a young man takes his favorite girl home. Emboldened by the night, he decides to try for that important first kiss. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall, and smiling, he says to her, “Darling, how ’bout a goodnight kiss?”

Horrified, she replies, “Are you mad? My parents will see us!”

“Oh come on! Who’s gonna see us at this hour?”

“No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?”

“Oh come on, there’s nobody around, they’re all sleeping!”

“No way. It’s just too risky!”

“Oh please, please, I like you so much!”

“No, no, and no. I like you too, but I just can’t!”

“Oh yes you can. Please?”

“No, no. I just can’t.”

“Please?…”

Out of the blue, the porch light goes on, and the girl’s sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled. In a sleepy voice the sister says: “Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he’ll come down himself and do it. But for crying out loud tell him to take his hand off the intercom button!”

Please visit my other sites:

Handbook for Victorious Christian Living

Blueprint for Victorious Christian Living

Power of the Living Word

No related posts.

God loves humor too!

WhoGodIs — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 17:58:48 +0000

It is hard to find clean humor these days that makes you laugh so hard that you just can’t stop for a minute or two – then you think about it after a while and laugh again. This is one of those stories that I was sent in email a long time ago, and I just can’t bear to get rid of it.

I read it every now and then when I am cleaning out my in box and I laugh just as hard as the first time I read it.

So many times as Christians, we get all bogged down in the bad things in life and fail to see good things. Stop, clear your mind, and laugh a little while you are enjoying this funny story.

From Mikey’s Funnies

today’sFUNNY=============================

WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THOSE “FREE” SOAPS WHEN TRAVELING

Attached is some correspondence that actually occurred between a London hotel’s staff and one of its guests.

———————————————————————-

Dear Maid,

Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.

Thank you,

S. Berman

———————————————————————-

Dear Room 635,

I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.

Kathy, Relief Maid

———————————————————————-

Dear Maid — I hope you are my regular maid.

Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won’t need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please remove them.

S. Berman

———————————————————————-

Dear Mr. Berman,

My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn’t remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can of further assistance.

Your regular maid,

Dotty

———————————————————————-

Dear Mr. Berman,

The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this A.M. that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you.

Elaine Carmen

Housekeeper

———————————————————————-

Dear Miss Carmen,

It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 745 AM and don’t get back before 530 or 6PM. That’s the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bathroom shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?

S. Berman

———————————————————————-

Dear Mr. Berman,

Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you,

Elaine Carmen,

Housekeeper

———————————————————————-

Dear Mr. Kensedder,

My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.

S. Berman

———————————————————————-

Dear Mr. Berman,

I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.

Martin L. Kensedder

Assistant Manager

———————————————————————-

Dear Mrs. Carmen,

Who the heck left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don’t want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my ONE bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my bath size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial.

S. Berman

———————————————————————-

Dear Mr. Berman,

You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays, which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily (sic). I don’t know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don’t know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory, which I left in your room.

Elaine Carmen

Housekeeper

———————————————————————-

Dear Mrs. Carmen,

Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As of today I possess:

- On shelf under medicine cabinet – 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.

- On Kleenex dispenser – 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.

- On bedroom dresser – 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.

- Inside medicine cabinet – 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.

- In shower soap dish – 6 Camay, very moist.

- On northeast corner of tub – 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.

- On northwest corner of tub – 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.

Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item – I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.

S. Berman

[forwarded by McNair Wilson]

today’sTHOT============================

I’m tickled to be the chairman of the Society for People with Super-Sensitive Feet.

Further study resources:

Blueprint for Victorious Christian Living

Handbook for Victorious Christian Living

Power of the Living Word

God loves people and cats!